Why Parenting Feels So Tough (And the Truth Behind It)

Most parents don’t wake up in the morning with the intention to yell, control, or suppress their children.They wake up with love in their hearts…

But somewhere in the noise of tantrums, backtalk, screens, and school stress — something breaks.Parenting feels

hard.Overwhelming.

Like walking on a tightrope between love and frustration.

But here’s the truth that many don’t talk about:

Parenting becomes tough when we try to change our children’s behavior without understanding the roots of our own.

Parenting From Unhealed Wounds

Many of us are parenting from our childhood wounds.

The scars of not being heard…

The pain of being shamed…

The ache of never feeling “good enough”…

Without even realizing it, we start to:

• Control our child’s expression, because we were not allowed to express.

• Demand discipline, because we were blamed for being “too much.”

• Overprotect, because we were never protected.

  
  

And suddenly, we are not responding to our child —we are reacting to our past.

Two Parents, Two Pasts, One Child

Now imagine two people, both carrying their own set of unmet needs and unresolved hurts, trying to raise a child together.

Each brings their own parenting style, beliefs, and triggers.

One wants to be strict, the other wants to be soft.

One values freedom, the other craves control.

And in the middle of it all is a child — confused, shaped, and often torn by this silent tug-of-war.

The child becomes a mirror to both parents — reflecting not what they want, but what they need to heal.

The Big Shift: Parenting Is Not About the Child’s Behavior

Let this sink in:

Parenting is not about how children behave.

It is about how we respond to that behavior.

Do we react with fear or respond with awareness?

Do we punish the child or pause and reflect on what triggered us?

Do we focus on fixing the child or healing ourselves?

When parents understand this — truly understand —

Parenting becomes a spiritual path, not a power struggle.

Children Are Here for a Reason

As Louise Hay said so beautifully:

“Children choose their parents long before birth. They choose the environment in which they can grow to their full potential.”

What if…

Your child chose you not because you’re perfect,

but because your wounds hold the exact lessons their soul needed —

and because your child’s behavior holds the exact lessons your soul needed to evolve?

What if parenting wasn’t just about raising a child…

But also about raising yourself?

The Invitation

So the next time parenting feels tough, ask yourself:

• Am I responding to my child, or reacting from my past?

• What part of me is hurting right now?

• What is my child’s behavior trying to teach me?

  
  

Because children are not here to fulfill our unmet dreams.They are here to awaken our consciousness.

Parenting, when done with awareness, becomes a sacred space where generational pain can end and love can begin again.

Final Thoughts

Let parenting be the mirror.

Let it be the meditation.

Let it be the method by which we grow — spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.

Because when we grow, our children flourish.

And when we heal, they don’t have to carry our pain.

Written by Girish Panicker

Parenting Coach | Author of “Simple Parenting” | Helping parents build emotionally strong, conscious connections with their children

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